TEDDY - 3rd Grader
logical, athletic, neat freak, quick sarcastic wit, teacher's pet, sound effects expert
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| Teddy painting a "fairy house" at his baby sister Echo's fairy garden birthday party |
Teddy was a late reader, something we were warned was common in children with articulation delays, which run in my family (Teddy had a few years of speech therapy through the public school system). He struggled with self esteem issues about being in the slow reading group, but just like his brother Sawyer before him, something suddenly clicked in 2nd grade and he took off reading. Teddy was always a model student in the classroom - respectful, responsible, attentive, sweet, straight A's. Well, with the little exception that he rarely did his homework.
PUBLIC SCHOOL HOMEWORK
I let his homework slide given his good grades and the fact that they didn't need to turn it in at his grade level. That translates to optional, right?
Besides, I felt sorry for the poor kid. He was at school (or walking to and fro) for 7 1/2 HOURS, five days a week.
By the time he got home, he was exhausted and starved for fun. There were just three hours before dinner and bedtime, and if we went hiking or to a soccer practice (or really anywhere at all), time was up.
Three hours is not long enough for:
- Sports/Outside play time
- Indoor play time
- Game time (30 mins on weekdays)
Teddy and his brothers wanted all three every day and never got it.
I never knew where I would find Teddy's homework (or any important school paperwork!). Despite being a neat freak, homework would end up in the most bizarre places.
- Crushed at the bottom of his backpack.
- In a pile underneath the dining room table.
- Behind the gerbils' aquarium.
He didn't see any value in it, which is significant in a meticulous, conscientious child such as Teddy.
Much of the homework had the feel of a band-aid - a way for parents to fill in any gaps. I wasn't a complete slacker. If a worksheet looked especially important, I'd have him sit down and knock it out, usually on a weekend (you know he loved that).
WHAT DOES F*** MEAN?
Teddy came home one day and asked about a word some third graders were saying - "Mommy, what does F*** mean?"
Woh!
My hubby and I don't swear (unless I sustain unexpected extreme pain like that time I hammered my finger). I briefly explained that it was a "bad word" we didn't want them repeating and left it at that.
But there were so many more, at such a fast pace and way younger than when Sawyer was exposed.
Another surprise was when Sawyer revealed that Teddy had a girlfriend who had sneaked a hug in the playground.
If 3rd grade was the new 5th grade, what would 5th grade bring????????
THE HOMESCHOOL DECISION
We had pulled Sawyer out of public school in February and it was going pretty great. It had been such a positive experience for us both. I was feeling closer to Sawyer than ever and learning with him was fun and fulfilling (enough of the time to make it worth it anyway, you know, like parenting).
I wanted the same for Teddy, and not when the next school year started as we had originally told him, but right away.
We decided to pull Teddy and his brother Everett (1st grader) out in March. We gave them a one week warning.
When I told Teddy he yelled "Mommy!" in a falsetto over and over again for a good five minutes. I felt like such a terrible terrible horrible awful mom. My poor traumatized child. Why hadn't I just stuck to the plan?
HIS TEACHER'S REACTION
Teachers react in one of three ways when I tell them I'm homeschooling. They respond negatively, they respond neutrally (while secretly harboring negative thoughts is what I imagine) or they say wonderful supportive things.
I wanted to share Teddy's teacher's letter to me because she was the only one (besides the amazing lady who worked with Sawyer on his social anxiety) who was supportive, and that was despite my super short notice that I was making off with one of her students:
Hey there, Well, I will be very sad and I know all the kids will miss him. Some have already asked about him. :( I'm very happy for you and your family that you're able to homeschool your children. You're a great mother. I could tell that just by how Teddy is such a great student. Good luck and I hope that Teddy will keep in touch!
An important side note that she might not have said the part about me being such a great mother if she'd had one of my other kids in her class. One very valuable thing that having a large family teaches you is what a huge role Genetics/God's design plays in a child's personality - it can be both liberating and humbling, taking away much of the pride you might have had in the good stuff ;)
Her email meant SO much to me after Teddy's terrible reaction to the news. I've since talked to several teachers or ex-teachers who are either homeschooling or have expressed that they would like to or wish they could. They always refer to "all the things I have seen and heard" in a very ominous way. I'm always dying to ask for details but I know they aren't supposed to share any (right?).
TEDDY AND HOMESCHOOLING
Teddy's transformation has been just as dramatic as Sawyer's, and in a way I would have never imagined.
Teddy had a hard time with our daily schedule the first few months, because there wasn't one. I'll go into more detail about how we do things in another blog post but in short - having parts of the day that were unstructured made him very UNCOMFORTABLE.
He wanted a schedule set out for each day. He LOVES structure and order and knowing when everything will happen. "What are we doing next? Where are we doing next? Then what will we do? What should I do now? How long will it take to get there?"
Teddy works EFFICIENTLY and FAST!!!! He had more unstructured time than anyone else.
I suddenly had a brainstorm - we needed to hit the library stat.
Angels sang as we walked through the doors.
I sent Sawyer and Teddy off and told them to come back with some books they were interested in reading - SO interested in reading that they would want to write about what they learned.
Teddy pours through piles of books on animals and has decided that he wants to be a vet one day. He LOVES TO LEARN and reads non-fiction books for fun. He is full of questions and curiosity and wants to borrow my iPhone wherever we are so he can look up the answers NOW.
How long do red pandas live? How fast can race cars go?
Public school Teddy had always diligently done the minimum of what was required of him. Deep inside he had a burning desire to learn, and none of us had had any idea.
MORE STUFF
Read about why we decided to put our children in public school despite originally wanting to homeschool - Before We Homeschooled
COMING NEXT
(Everett's story, Early Days of Homeschooling, What is Everschooling?)
