Preschool Cooperatives

Although I had always tinkered with the thought of homeschooling, and had hoarded educational supplies for years, my fourth little guy's homeschool preschool cooperative played a big role in giving me the final push I needed to take the plunge :)

BACKTRACKING: CENTREVILLE PRESCHOOL

My first introduction to the idea came years before when we were living in Virginia and looking for a preschool for our eldest.  Everyone I spoke to raved about a local preschool that had started out as a preschool cooperative.  A group of moms met in various spaces and taught their children preschool skills together.  Eventually it grew so big that they hired two professional teachers as directors, bought a sweet little Victorian to house their preschool, and formed a board of parents.

Centreville Preschool in Centreville, VA

When I came along there were three levels of involvement to choose from, and over the next three years I tried them all :)

1/ No involvement - the highest tuition.  This worked like a standard preschool - you dropped off your child and picked them up a few hours later.  These classes had a paid teacher and aide.

2/ Volunteering in the classroom - Tuition was lower because the parents took turns being the aide for the teacher.  FUN!!!  I loved this :)  It worked out to being in the classroom once every six weeks.

3/ Volunteering on the board.  I chose the state licensing director position and had a blast.  My friends and family know I love researching just about anything and it was fascinating to read all of the safety regulations and work with the teachers to make sure we were in compliance for our inspections.  I saw to it that we had more separation between playground equipment, more mulch under swings, and that all of the magnetic Polly Pockets were goners.

This was a social preschool with no apology.  Play was seen as the work of preschoolers.  The teachers were caring and nurturing and there was oodles of creative play and art time.  This fit in perfectly with my own preschool philosophy and the boys loved it.  Teddy's favorite stuffed animal seven years later is still the little bear he made a little bed for on his first day of preschool.

If you live in or around Centreville, Virginia or are interested in starting something similar check it out here :)

FASTFORWARDING: HOMESCHOOL PRESCHOOL COOPERATIVE

We were now living in Austin TX.  Jack and I were at a playgroup for four year olds who were close to hitting official Kindergarten age when a few of us moms struck up a conversation.  It turned out that we were all planning to hold our boys back a year.  One of the moms told us about a homeschool preschool cooperative she was in that reminded me of Centreville Preschool's original format.  I had been doing what I considered homeschool preschool with Jack (for the first time I had a child who WANTED to learn how to read and was picking up letters easily) and we were loving it - doing it with other moms would be so much fun!

I HAD TO CHECK IT OUT!

I contacted the organizer and discovered that it was a friend I hadn't seen in a while - from a mom meetup I used to belong to.  The thing about the Austin area is that even though there are over a million people, you are usually only two degrees of separation from anyone else.  Three at the very VERY most :)

Jack and I jumped in right away and it was a BLAST!  Here is how it worked.  Each semester was twelve weeks long.  There were +/- twelve moms (and sometimes a grandma or a dad too).  Each mom would teach on any topic she loved, or pick from a list of suggestions.  Moms who were more interested in support roles could pair up with other moms. 

We would start out singing a hello song and doing some accompanying sign language.  Then the teacher mom would introduce the topic with any mixture of books, song, movement, lecture in a way that would (hopefully) hold the attention of 3-5 year olds.

Sometimes there would be a big group activity - like the time the kids wrapped their egg using assorted recyclables and tape and we dropped them from a ladder.  That was messy.  It was also physics! :D

Health: Jack learning about the importance of eating a rainbow :)

Five or six stations would be set up with hands on activities related to the lesson and we would all move around at a child led pace with little siblings running around underfoot.  Our first semester I was pregnant with my fifth, but spent our second and third semesters with baby Echo strapped to my chest.  Sometimes we had a babysitter available to watch the little ones in a toy room :)

At some point some or other child would get hungry (which would of course set off a chain reaction) and we'd take a break for a snack.  In the end we'd all meet back together, do some show and tell and sing the goodbye song.

Recycling: Jack showing off his six toilet paper roll people living in a beer caddy house with baby Echo underfoot

There was a very minimal cost in the $40-$50 range to cover rent of the space we were using and supplies.  We maintained a closet of educational and art supplies but there was also shopping money allocated to each unit.  The topics were so varied - anatomy, recycling, space, art, the brain, health, safety, creativity... 

Even though most of the moms hadn't hit official school years yet, they were excited about homeschooling then and in the future, and their excitement and confidence were contagious.

 Compost - Jack studying the various stages of veggie decomposition

I decided I would homeschool Jack his Kindergarten year too (I was holding back a year after all) and then see where it went from there.  Maybe I'd put him in Kindergarten the following year, or first grade, or even just keep on homeschooling him!  I knew of people who had some kids in public school, some at home.

Little did I know that I would soon be homeschooling ALL of my children.

We made a difficult decision to leave the cooperative after our third semester.  Jack was just starting to outgrow the activities, and I had started homeschooling his older brothers.  There were many other homeschool cooperatives out there for older children but we decided to focus on finding our groove.

THANK YOU

Thank you to all of my fellow coop parents who shared their creativity, talents and enthusiasm with Jack and I.  A special thank you to my friend Becky, organizer extraordinaire - who played an especially important role in my eventually having the guts to homeschool ;)  Yes lady, really!

MORE STUFF

Read about why we decided to put our children in public school despite originally wanting to homeschool here -  Before We Homeschooled

Read Sawyer's story - why we decided to pull our eldest out of public school in the middle of 5th grade here.

Coming next (Teddy's story, Everett's story, Early Days of Homeschooling, What is Everschooling?)

COMMENT BELOW

Have you worked with your preschooler at home?  What types of things have you learned together?

Sawyer's Story - Public School to Homeschool

SAWYER - 5th grader
artistic, dry-witted, sweet, argumentative, slob-like-me, mercurial, complex

Like many children with articulation delays, Sawyer developed an anxiety disorder called selective mutism at three years old that made him so anxious in school or classroom-type situations that he could barely speak.  He also inherited my inattentive form of ADHD and struggled to focus in class, often having to finish his schoolwork during recess or at home (on top of his homework).  Despite all of his challenges he usually managed to excel on paper, missing straight A's by one percent on his last report card.

We occasionally discussed homeschooling him but his disorder improved a little bit each year.  His teachers were supportive and patient, and the school provided counseling, mentors and behavioral strategies.  Outside of school he saw a therapist and began taking anxiety medication in 2nd grade which helped considerably.

To our surprise, his peers were not only kind to him but he even became very popular - some combination of his air of mystery and his extreme selectivity in who he felt comfortable talking to.  The phone was constantly ringing with some or other boy or girl wanting to talk to Sawyer (he had no anxiety related to phone conversations).

SEXY SEXY FIFTH GRADERS??!

Within a few months we saw our eldest transform from a child into a hormone-raging tween.  We had expected that this would happen one day, but this was a horrific mutant mode we knew was heavily peer influenced.  He and his friends became obsessed with having Bieber hair, with looking "sexy" and trying to get a girlfriend.  We explained why he couldn't have a girlfriend at his age but he talked about it all the time anyway.

One day I went to check on Sawyer, a friend, and a few girls that were all hanging out in our front yard.  I found both of the boys shirtless.  They told me that they had their shirts off because it made them look hot.  How was I already having to deal with this?????  The shirts went back on, fast.  

PERSONALITY CHANGE

In his last months of public school Sawyer had become sullen, walking with his head down, shoulders sunken in.  His eyes no longer sparkled.  He asked if he could start calling me "mom".  If I hugged him or touched him affectionately he would immediately recoil or dodge out of the way.

We were losing Sawyer.

THE RACIST GAME

One day, when Sawyer was in another room, his best friend told me about a "game" that kids at school had been playing that they called "the racist game".  He claimed that almost all of the fifth grade boys were involved.  I asked him which ones weren't and he listed some names.  The way it went was that one of the boys would say something racist like "I hate blacks" :( :( :(.  Then if that boy didn't say "safety" fast enough, another boy would say "now you have to touch one".  My son's best friend told me that if they couldn't find someone black (there were very very few in the school) they would often touch Sawyer since he has tan skin (he is part Hispanic).  He said he thought I would want to know.

Later after his best friend left I asked him about it.  Was it true that most of the fifth grade boys were playing a game called "the racist game" and then touching him?  "Yes", said Sawyer, "but they only touch me because I'm always wearing a black shirt".

We had had neighbors move to a nearby (far-more-diverse) city, citing racism in the local middle school as the main reason.  Their girl was Hispanic, had all black friends, and said that many of the white girls were mean to them and she was sure it was due to racism.  At the time I had hoped she was mistaken or her experience was an anomaly, but now I wasn't so sure.

I emailed Sawyer's teacher and principal and told them everything the boys had told me.  I never got a response.  I can't remember now if I also spoke to the special education lady that worked with Sawyer about it - when we last spoke we were withdrawing Sawyer from public school and there was so much to discuss.

TWO DAYS - TWO THINGS

1/ I overheard a very disturbing phone conversation (my 9yo was eavesdropping in on his big brother's call and brought me the phone) during which a close friend conveyed a wide variety of sexual topics and suggestions peppered with many swear words to our shocked son in under a minute.  We communicated this to the child's mom and the school, even though it didn't happen on school property, and asked him to please not speak with Sawyer again.  It broke my heart.  Sawyer's friend left apologetic sniffly messages for a couple of weeks afterwards on our answering machine and Sawyer cried each time.  

2/ Let me preface this by saying that aside from an occasional note passing incident, Sawyer had never been in trouble at school (not that you get in trouble for note passing, really).  One fateful day Sawyer and his best friend used a class paper clip to make a pretend lock pick.  Sawyer had been heard joking about breaking into the school with a paperclip some weeks before so it was of course taken very seriously when it was discovered on his desk.  Another transgression that happened the same day involved his best friend's watch which had a video recording function.  The teacher caught them recording their classmates during class, which was a huge no no because of privacy laws (??).  The teacher put it on her desk with plans of taking it to the principal to have the video footage erased.  When it came time for recess, Sawyer's best friend put his watch back on and went merrily on his way, having no idea this would be seen as an act of terrible rebellion.  I received a call from the school and I gave permission for Sawyer to be spoken to sternly by the principal (they asked for my thoughts given his severe anxiety).  Even so, I had no idea he would be suspended (a one day in-school suspension - in the principal's office) and was beyond shocked when a paper came home listing as a reason for suspension in big bold letters: THEFT .

LOSING HIS BEST FRIEND

Sawyer's best friend was switched to a different classroom by the school.  His parents grounded him for two weeks and as a result he wasn't allowed to come to Sawyer's birthday party.  They both cried for days.  One day they sneaked a phone call and Sawyer came crying to tell us that his best friend's parents had said he was never to speak to him again because they considered Sawyer a bad influence.  This really gave us pause.  We had always considered his best friend the bad influence - a latchkey child, he often spent time at our home after school so I had gotten to know him quite well - but we had convinced ourselves that because we were being a good influence on him and he was at heart a very sweet boy, it would all cancel itself out.

EVACUATING SAWYER

We gave notice that we were pulling Sawyer to homeschool him using a form letter I found online.  I notified his teacher and thanked her for her hard work and kindness but didn't hear much from her beyond the practicalities of getting his supplies.  The registrar was somewhat passive aggressive, asking us what curriculum we would be using (I told her a mix of things, we aren't required to provide any information in Texas and homeschools are considered private schools).  She warned me to keep good records because one day Texas might require homeschoolers to use a set curriculum and report in regularly like some other states (extremely unlikely and records wouldn't be expected retroactively anyway).  She asked if there was anything they could do to make his school experience better.  I couldn't think of anything.  I went back a few days later to bring back our library books and she had a very kind, sympathetic expression on her face.  What had she heard?

POSITIVE CHANGE

I will go into more detail about our early days of homeschooling in another post but did want to briefly touch on changes we saw in Sawyer in the first two weeks.  He did not want to leave school and cried the first two days.  The third day he started asking about homeschooling and looked excited by what he heard.  By the end of the first two weeks:

He was walking with confidence (as upright as an 11 year old tween can get)

He stopped ignoring his little brothers

His eyes were sparkly and alive again

He was back to making witty dry commentary

He was smiling his sweet almost-a-laugh smile

He started calling me mommy again AND ASKING ME TO HUG HIM GOODNIGHT

MORE STUFF

Read about why we decided to put our children in public school despite originally wanting to homeschool here -  Before We Homeschooled

Coming next (Jack's Homeschool Preschool Coop, Teddy's story, Everett's story, Early Days of Homeschooling, What is Everschooling?)

COMMENT BELOW

Has your child or a child you know had similar experiences?

Before We Homeschooled

PREQUEL

The hubby and I had always planned to homeschool.  We worried about the negative effects peers might have on our children, and I had tutored and taught children's classes over the years and LOVED LOVED LOVED it.  I couldn't wait to have two attentive (ha ha) little students of my very own one day, far far far in the future, after finishing my doctoral program in child clinical psychology.

We got married towards the end of my first year and promptly got honeymoon pregnant.  Uh oh.

I had an amazing fellowship (full tuition plus an annual stipend), but we had always wanted our children to have a stay at home mom.  We both had a deep appreciation for our own mothers staying home with us, and I had read so much regarding the benefits from a child development perspective.  I left my program and made a dramatic career change to mom.

After two I talked my hubby into three and then four.  He talked me into five - how can you say no to "I want one for every finger on my hand"?

SPEECH THERAPY

Our boys all needed speech therapy (for a mysterious articulation delay that runs in my family) and the public school system provides speech therapy for free so in they went.  The three older boys eventually graduated from speech therapy, but it was so easy to keep sending them to school.

READING

Each time we sent a boy to Kindergartener the requirements were more stringent.  Our first learned his letters one at a time throughout his Kindergarten year.  Our second was expected to be able to read by the end of Kindergarten.  Our third was given a reading test six weeks after starting Kindergarten and I was told he was one of only two children in the class who didn't already know how to read.  All of our children were reading delayed, with the older two starting to read smoothly at the end of 2nd grade.  I tried to help them at home and convinced myself I was terrible at teaching children how to read.  I would eventually realize that it had nothing to do with me - my boys were just not ready.

HOMEWORK

I was STAGGERED by the vast amounts of homework and paperwork the kids brought home.  How could I hope to teach my children if I could barely get them to finish their homework by dinner??? 

I had lost my confidence that I could teach them myself, but hoarded educational supplies nevertheless, telling my hubby that if any of the kids ever needed it I would homeschool them - as long as it was one at a time.

STATUS QUO

It wasn't all smooth sailing, but right up until we decided to pull our three older boys out to homeschool, we felt public school was the best place for them.  In the weeks leading up to my decision we were relatively pleased with the education they were getting.  They were at an exemplary school.  The boys were all doing well academically and had teachers and friends they loved.  Getting up at 6:45 every morning was grueling for my husband (I was banned from the job by a unanimous family vote due to my cruel and unusual not-a-morning-person attitude) but we had no other choice, right?

COMMENT BELOW 

If you don't homeschool, have you ever considered it?  What holds you back?

What do you see as the pros and cons of public schooling or homeschooling?